The degree of one’s emotion varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts – the less you know the hotter you get.
Bertrand Russell
Emotional Wellness 天寬地闊
Modern day medical researchers will tell you that stress can lead to lowering of your immune system efficiency which subsequently affect your Physical Wellness. You will also experience the uplifting of your feelings e.g. confidence, happiness etc. after a good physical exercise workout. So which comes first ? Emotional Wellness or Physical Wellness ? Actually human beings are an integration of body, soul and spirit. The body affects the soul and vice versa. So it is equally important to attain Emotional Wellness as other wellness areas.
Modern man is bombarded with so much external stimuli that affect our emotions every day in our lives. Our moods are affected by people like our colleagues, our bosses, our loved ones and by things like the stock market, Great Singapore Sales etc.. Instead of trying to be psychologists, which we are not, the recommendations made here are particular to seniors and retirees. Why? Because we assumed (perhaps wrongly for some exceptional seniors/retirees) that our cohort (even those still working) are less prone to work-related or monetary stress as most of us will be less concerned with career advancement and quick-profits respectively. This helps us to narrow our discussion to areas that will truly increase seniors’ quality of life. So what are these areas ?
Greed and Fear
All great teachers Buddha, Jesus and scores of famous philosophers have one thought in common – that our lives in this world is temporary and we should not let our earthly ‘wants’ drive our lives. Many successful retirees might have forsaken ‘greed’ in spite of the media world lures. But many have not shaken off ‘fear’. Protection seems to be more overriding than gain in our old age. So what can we do to rid our fear of loss, fear of ageing, fear of errors, fear of the unexpected ? That is why REVERSE co-op is set up to help ourselves to gain more security in all these areas. Numbers and unity yield strength. The REVERSE community proprogate two foundational pillars towards true emotional wellness. Firstly improvement of self and own lifestyle (all the other wellness areas which affects our emotions). Secondly, coming together in a understanding community that mutually help each other enhance lives.
Lust and Anger
Again we assume (again could be wrong for some) seniors are less prone to lust as we take on longer view of life and take out less value of short, momentarily impulses. But it is harder to get rid of anger which has been with us all our lives. Again if we look to all the great teachers, humility is always a hallmark of these truly great people. If you are humble enough to acknowledge no one is perfect, there will be less anger with others’ mistakes, inefficiency and faults.
Anxiety and Loss
Seniors has to face different forms of emotions more often than the younger ones. The loss of agility and mobility as years wear on. The loss of friends and relatives over time. For the former, we should take care of our Physical and Mental Wellness and acquire practices that prevent loss of memory, loss of locomotion etc. For the latter, we must enlarge our circle of friends and make new friends especially with younger ones. This also serves to keep our minds and attitude young. Sharing our life experiences with younger cohort not only make us new friends but will earn us self-esteem.
Forgiveness and Gratitude
Living longer lives means we have more exposures to life’s many ‘sweets and sours’. There are more bad people and situations that we need to forgive and at the same time more wonderful moments and lovely people we owe thanks to. While the above-mentioned emotions are usually limited in time duration, forgiving and being thankful are emotions we must embed in ourselves constantly throughout our lives all the time. These are the catalysts that will truly set us free from getting old. If you harbour unforgiveness and have no gratitude for your lives, you will become ‘bitter old’ and goes down the hill faster in not only emotional wellness but spiritual wellness too.
Peace and Joy
Just as all the motivational gurus teaches us to stay positive, it is surely important for our mental wellness and emotion wellness to cut away negative or pessimistic thoughts. It will help us to fend off stress which is one huge factor in ageing. Trust everything will work out and when it does, be grateful of the outcome.
Taking Action
There is a song ‘smile and the whole world smiles with you’. Your attitude toward life defines not only who you are, but the quality of life you’ll have. God has made everyone different but all are precious creatures to Him. The person who is not proud and humble at heart will find many friends. With this attitude, you will make many friends. Widen your circle of friends and support network. If you cannot find emotion wellness in going to movies, watching TV etc. come join us in REVERSE co-op. We are people like you seeking each other’s support to build a new lifestyle of lasting peace and joy.
Pick up music
Without proving to you scientifically, you know by instinct and experience how different types of music can affect your mood. More than letting external music change your mood, much more effective to express our own feelings thorough music, whether we are singing or playing an instrument.
Stop Comparing
Try it for once. Stop looking around. Don’t compare!
- Don’t compare her nose with your nose.
- Don’t compare his wife with your wife.
- Don’t compare his salary with your salary.
- Don’t compare her breast size with your breast size.
- Don’t compare her kid’s report card with your kid’s report card.
- Don’t compare his prayer group with your prayer group.
- Don’t compare her/his cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.
Stop comparing and start living and you’ll be happier with your life.
This is crucial: The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not. Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don’t think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem).
And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. Be happy. Live!
Footnote : The reason REVERSE is a co-operative and not a commercial enterprise is we believe in co-operation and not in competition. We don’t want to compare with other organizations in doing more good or making more money. We want to complement government organizations, charities, non-profit associations that are already doing wonderful work and at the same time lend strengths from them to serve the seniors cohort better.